Only For You
by Eitriarch
Summary: Silabus decides he should tell Haseo his feelings. However, it's not as easy as he hopes. HaseoSilabus
1. Chapter 1

I'm gonna go ahead and try writing a fanfic again... this is my first .hack fic.

I'm not too good at keeping the characters, well, in character so please tell me what I could do to improve the story.

no flames please DX... I've had enough of those.

* * *

Silabus sat at the edge of the dock in Mac Anu. He was online much later than normal and the sky had already turned dark. He found it easier to concentrate when he was in The World and today, he had a lot to think about. Actually, there was only one subject on his mind. Haseo.

He had been thinking about the black Adept Rogue constantly for a few days now. First he had only thought about Haseo when then were in a party together. Then it grew to offline as well. They had spend so much time together leveling up and fighting in the tournament that there was no way he couldn't grow attached to him. The truth was, Silabus was in love with Haseo.

He didn't want to believe it at first. He kept denying it every time the subject popped up in his head. But soon he began to wonder if it was true after all and that was when he realized it was.

But how should he tell Haseo, well, if he was ever going to tell him at all? Would that even be a wise decision? Haseo was unpredictable but there might be a chance… Might be a chance for what? Haseo never speaking to him again? Silabus sighed and looked down into the water. He didn't want to think this hard. He didn't _like_ to think this hard. His best bet would be to just keep it quiet. Of course, just because it was the safer option didn't mean he had to do it.

* * *

The next evening when Silabus logged on, he sent a message telling Haseo to meet him at Delta Cursed Hopeless Paradise. _Sounds depressing…_Silabus thought to himself as he sent the email. But he had been there before and it was one of his favorite areas. He had already warped there, so all he had to do was sit and wait for Haseo.

It seemed like an eternity for Haseo to arrive but Silabus felt it was entirely worth it when he saw the adept rogue's face. "Hey, Haseo!"

The younger boy didn't exactly look thrilled to see him. "What did you want me to come here for?"

Silabus shrugged even though he did have a plan. "I don't know. I was just thinking we needed some time to relax. You know, from the tournament and all."

Haseo didn't smile. "Does it look like I have the time to just sit around and relax?"

Silabus didn't know what to say. He knew this was a bad idea. Why did he want to go through with this again? "Yes?" He heard himself say. "Everyone needs a break every once and awhile."

"I don't have time for this…"

"Haseo," Silabus's tone was slightly demanding. "Look, you're working too hard. Sit down and talk to me." He then spoke softer. "Please."

This time Haseo didn't hesitate to listen. He crossed his arms and looked away. "Why do you care?"

_Because I love you_ That was what he wanted to say. "We're friends and teammates." Silabus felt his cheeks start to burn a bit. Luckily for Silabus, Haseo wasn't paying attention to his face anyway. Actually, Silabus couldn't tell if Haseo was paying attention at all. "Haseo?"

"What?" He replied flatly.

Silabus let out a deep sigh. "Do you like to look at the moon, Haseo?"

Haseo turned his head - the question had caught him by surprise. "Huh?"

"Do you?" Silabus looked at the moon directly above them. It wasn't a real moon and neither was its size which was at least ten times bigger than the one seen from Earth. But it was beautiful.

Haseo began to stare at the moon as well. It was awhile but he did answer. "Yeah…I…It's nice."

The older boy smiled. It was the first time that night that Haseo hadn't had an attitude. Silabus then moved to right beside Haseo. "Haseo…"

"Hmm?"

At this point, Silabus felt his heart begin to race. This was it. He had to tell Haseo and he had to tell him now. "I love you." He said confidently. He didn't want to have any regrets about the way he said it. He waited for a response. It seemed like forever. He was beginning to get nervous and he didn't dare look at Haseo. "Haseo?"

"Get the hell away from me." Haseo didn't just tell him, he commanded.

"But, Haseo-"

The adept rogue jerked his head in Silabus's direction. "What kind of sick joke is this supposed to be? Just what are you trying to accomplish?"

Silabus still didn't make eye contact with Haseo. He could feel a sharp aching in his heart beginning to form. He wanted to justify what he had said. He wanted to tell Haseo it was true! But no matter what he thought he couldn't get the words to come together to speak.

"Look at me, dammit!" Haseo grabbed Silabus by the chin and turned his head towards him.

That was when he saw a single tear fall down Silabus's cheek. It was soon followed by many more. As hard as Silabus tried he couldn't contain his crying. "I _do_ love you, Haseo…"

Haseo then let go of Silabus. _Is he…Is he really serious?_ Haseo thought to himself. "Silabus…Are you…telling me the truth?"

Not being able to look at him any longer, Silabus turned his head away again almost as if in shame. He nodded and then talked barely above a whisper. "I can't stop thinking about you."

It was now Haseo's turn to be at a loss for words. What _could_ he say? He didn't have an answer for Silabus. "I need to go." Was all he could think of before he logged out, leaving Silabus alone in The World. He needed some time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

I'd just like to thank everyone that left a review last chapter. Sorry this one's not quite as long... I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

"Rengeki! Gale blade!" shouted Haseo as he dealt the final blow to a Holy Eater. He had barely beaten the monster – one that he usually never had any trouble defeating. "Damn it…" He fell to his knees and thrust his blades into the ground. "Damn it! Damn it! _Damn it_!" 

Ever since the night Silabus had shared his feelings, Haseo just hadn't been completely the same. He couldn't concentrate properly and that night's memory constantly visited his mind. _Why can't I stop thinking about Silabus?_ He asked himself this question over and over. There was no way in hell he had the same feelings. Right?

Although…

He did have to admire Silabus for having the courage to do so. It was an act Haseo hadn't been able to bring himself to do with…Shino – something he regretted very much.

_Wait a minute!_ Haseo shook his head. Did he like Silabus or not? _Yes…no…maybe…no! Make up your damn mind, Haseo! _Perhaps he would _try_ it. There's no harm in that. He let out a long, deep sigh. This was beginning to irritate him. He needed to go kill some monsters…

* * *

All he could see was the rain. Silabus sat with his arms wrapped around knees as the rain poured down on him. _This is exactly how I feel on the inside…_

By now Silabus was completely convinced he had made the wrong decision. Nothing could –

A message flashed on his screen telling him he had received an email. He still didn't move for awhile but finally he decided to check it. It was from Haseo. Instantly his heart began to pound when he clicked on the email.

_Subject: location  
__To: Silabus  
__From: Haseo_

_Where are you? We need to talk._

Like usual, Haseo's message was short. Silabus didn't mind though. He was slightly relieved he received a message but nervous at the same time. What could Haseo want tot talk to him about? His hands shaking, he wrote a reply.

_Subject: RE:location  
__To: Haseo  
__From: Silabus_

_Delta Hidden Closed Twin Hills._

Now all Silabus had to do was wait. Surprisingly not even a minute later, Haseo had made it there. Without saying a word, he sat by Silabus. There was a long stretch of silence.

Finally, "Silabus," Haseo started. "I don't know if I feel the same about you but," He paused. Of course he didn't feel the same! What the hell was he thinking?! Oh well. He continued on, "But I'm willing…to try this out."

Silabus's eyes shot open wide. "W-what?" He almost wasn't sure if he was hearing correctly. Was this even _really_ Haseo?

Haseo crossed his arms. "You heard me, dammit. Don't make me repeat myself!"

Just then, Silabus lunged towards Haseo for an embrace. "Haseo!"

Blushing, the adept rogue closed his eyes and pushed Silabus away. "Try not to do that too often." He said with a hint of agitation. "_Especially_ in public…" Silabus just smiled for a moment then hugged Haseo again. Haseo exhaled loudly, trying to show he disproved. But in all actuality, it wasn't really that bad. Of course he wasn't going to tell that to anyone. Not now at least.


End file.
